Highbrow Filmmakers Dressed as Rappers

By
Clarisse Loughrey,

Hey, I wonder what the leading European directors would look like if they dressed in chainz and grillz? And especially, I wonder what they would look like if they were crudely Photshopped and attributed quotes by someone who knew next to nothing about actually being a rapper? MAKE WAY, PEASANTS, FOR I HAVE ANSWERED YOUR REQUESTS. Pretty sure I should win a Nobel Peace Prize for this.

1. FEDERICO FELLINI (AKA DADDY FEFE)

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"Ballin' so hard, made my dreams my reality. Got ma homie Carl Jung and the paparazzi checkin' me."

2. BÉLA TARR (AKA BELIE SMALLS)

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"Mikey Bay, get out ma face, your explosions so whack. I play it long and slow like a pro."

3. LARS VON TRIER (AKA LAR$)

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"Gurl let me see your Dogme 95."

4. ANDREI TARKOVSKY (AKA ANDREI 3000)

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"Haters gonna hate, they just can't deal with the way I sculpt time and write rhymes."

5. BERNADO BERTOLUCCI (AKA BIG BB)

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"This song goes out to my crew. To Godard, to Rossellini, to ma boi Fellini."

6. JEAN-LUC GODARD (AKA JLG)
 

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"I ain't got no smooth beats here. Now errbody let me see you jump-cut. JUMP, JUMP, ERRBODY JUMP-CUT."

7. MICHAEL HANEKE (AKA DJ SLAPPY)

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"Imma make you cry, then I'll just drive away in my low-ride, leave you hangin'."

8. FRITZ LANG (AKA LIL' LANG)

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"LOOK AT MA SH*T. LOOK AT ALL MY SH*T. I got, I got a robot lady..."

9. INGMAR BERGMAN (AKA IGGY BERG)

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"Y'all can't touch me. I'm the King of Europe. Don't look at me when I talk to you."

10. WERNER HERZOG (AKA WERN-Z)

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"Someone is shooting at us. It is not a significant bullet. Brap brap."

Now, look. I can pretty much read your thoughts. You want to have a go, and you have my endorsement, nay, my outright encouragement. Tweet them to us @GrolschFW!

Follow Clarisse on Twitter: @clarisselou
 

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