While it's all good and well to try and re-cap the week's movie news, we realise that it's the end of the week and the daily grind has probably all but frazzled your brain, to the point where you can't concentrate on actual words or things that aren't brightly coloured. This is where the internet sensation for GIFs come in, because why try and explain things when you can simply capture all your emotions in one constantly looping moving image.
THE NEXT COEN BROTHERS MOVIE, INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS, GETS A NEW TRAILER.
The only way I can really convey my excitement for this is with this visual analogy. You see, the movie is the cat and I'm a grubby Oscar Isaac scrambling over people to chase it. Release this movie already, people!
ALEXANDER PAYNE IS A TOTAL MAVERICK.
Basically, what happened is that Payne wanted to release his next picture, Nebraska, in black & white (because, art) but Paramount Pictures forced him to shoot in colour (because, money). However, Payne got his own way in the end by filming the entire thing in colour and converting it to black & white in post-production, essentially creating two different versions of the film. Just to show Paramount who was boss. Or to put it another way, he knows how to bring the Payne. Nailed it.
JEFF NICHOLS HAS ADVANCED TO THE BIG-BUDGET SCI-FI LEVEL AND IS BRINGING MICHAEL SHANNON WITH HIM.
That's the Jeff Nichols behind Take Shelter and Mud, although unfortunately the only information we have so far is that it involves a chase and Michael Shannon will take the lead role. Still, hurrah! It'll be our chance to see Michael Shannon be deeply unnerving while CGI crap flies around him. And, yes, I know he's the villain in Man of Steel, but I like to imagine that everyone reading this has joined me on my lifetime boycott of anything Zack Snyder lays his grubby, slow-mo fingers on.
OPRAH WINFREY IS GOING TO WIN AN OSCAR (PROBABLY).
While The Paperboy might have had its fair share of critics (haters gonna hate, etc), there's no denying that Lee Daniels' next picture is unlikely to be splitting the critics. This week saw the release of The Butler's first trailer and everyone immediately starting screaming "Oscar" at the top of their lungs and causing a neighbourhood disturbance. This movie is packed to the rafters with A-listers in award-seducing roles in the tale of the African-American butler who served during eight presidencies from 1952-1986: including Forrest Whittaker, Jane Fonda, John Cusack, Cuba Gooding Jr., and Oprah Winfrey, who's especially got critics all hot under the collar.
ALEX JAMES MADE A SHORT FILM THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH CHEESE.
Alex James took a break from making cheese and generally being as middle-class as possible to make his directorial debut to celebrate the launch of Virgin Media Shorts 2013. Written, directed by, and starring the Blur bassist, it's...basically two minutes of dancing. Which isn't a bad thing, mind you.
DAVID BOWIE + MARION COTILLARD + GARY OLDMAN = THE SUBLIME.
If you've not seen David Bowie's new video for 'The Next Day' you absolutely need to stop reading this right now and go watch it (but then come back and read the rest of this article, please). Bowie plays prophet, Cotillard is Mary Magdalene/gets some nasty stigmata, Oldman is a sleazy priest. The video is so good I literally paid no attention to the song and possibly couldn't describe any of it to you.
JAMES FRANCO. SERIOUSLY. STOP OR I'M GOING TO HAVE TO CALL AN INTERVENTION.
I'm seriously worried about Franco. The guy is over-achieving so hard you'd think he was trying to get into Yale. OH WAIT. HE'S ALREADY IN YALE AND DOING A PHD. This is getting ridiculous. This time round on the Franco project roster, he's signed up to star in Wim Wender's 3D movie Everything Will Be Fine, in which he'll play the role of Thomas, a writer who accidentally causes the death of a child.
EWAN MCGREGOR IS THE FOURTH ACTOR TO JOIN THE SINKING SHIP THAT IS JANE GOT A GUN.
While we're on the topic of things I'm sick of hearing about, Jane Got a Gun have found someone to replace Bradley Cooper after he came along to replace Jude Law who came along to replace Joel Edgerton who switched roles to replace Michael Fassbender to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. So bored of this. Seriously, Ewan McGregor, I'll tell you now what I told Bradley (advice which he clearly and sanely took). GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN. THIS IS THE REAL LIFE VERSION OF THE TRAINSPOTTING TOILET. JUST. DON'T.
AL PACINO LEFT DEPISCABLE ME 2 BECAUSE OF "CREATIVE DIFFERENCES".
What ON EARTH could these "creative differences" have possibly been, considering everything he was totally fine with happening in Jack and Jill? What? Did they not let him "hoo-ah" enough times or something?
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