While it's all good and well to try and re-cap the week's movie news, we realise that it's the end of the week and the daily grind has probably all but frazzled your brain, to the point where you can't concentrate on actual words or things that aren't brightly coloured. This is where the internet sensation for GIFs comes in, because why try and explain things when you can simply capture all your emotions in one constantly looping moving image.
WOODY ALLEN'S NEXT HOLIDAY IS IN RIO DE JANEIRO.
Considering Allen's movies of late have just become incredibly well-produced holiday home videos (To Rome With Love, Midnight in Paris, Vicky Cristina Barcelona), the mayor of Rio De Janeiro is hoping he can entice Allen to film his next movie in his city, offering to fund 100 per cent of his next picture. Good luck, pal, because he'll have to compete with Stockholm, who have also offered him funding to set his next movie in their city. Hey, maybe if I pool enough money together I can get Woody Allen to film his next movie in my house!
OBAMA WAS NEARLY IN LEE DANIELS' THE BUTLER.
Oh man, I'm so, so disappointed Daniels didn't get up the courage to call in a favour from Oprah and get her to call Obama about making his first cinematic appearance. WE CAN BUT DREAM ABOUT HOW AWESOME HE WOULD HAVE BEEN. HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THE SPIELBERG PARODY?
GET OUTTA HERE, NATALIE PORTMAN.
Portman will no longer play the Lady to Michael Fassbender's Macbeth as Marion Cotillard is stepping up to the plate for some Shakespeare screen-adapting. I'm not going to lie, while Cotillard remains of my favourite actresses working today and won't have any trouble matching Fassbender's imposing screen presence, isn't a French Lady Macbeth going to be a tad weird? I mean, no one out there is actually thinking she'll drop the accent, let alone put on a Scottish one, right?
THIS IS THE YEAR OF IDRIS ELBA, BOW DOWN Y'ALL.
Seriously, things couldn't be better for the guy. Not only did the recent Pacific Rim see him take a leading role in a huge blockbuster, but the release of Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom will likely have the award season calling him up 24/7. On top of that, news came this week that the actor will both star and produce in an adaptation of the best-selling novel Beasts of No Nation, which deals with horror of the daily struggle of child soldiers.
GET OUTTA HERE, STEVEN SPIELBERG.
Spielberg's out and Eastwood's in to direct Bradley Cooper in an adaptation of American Sniper. Hopefully this will mean 100 per cent more quipping while avoiding 100 per cent more talking to empty chairs. Hey, maybe Eastwood also chickened out of a calling in a favour from Oprah and getting Obama to actually be there to rant at.
THE OBVIOUS CONCLUSION TO EVERYTHING JAMES FRANCO HAS EVER DONE HAS HAPPENED.
He's getting his own reality show. Yup, don't act like you didn't know this was happening. With ten episodes planned at an hour each in length, it's been described as "an unscripted series in which he’ll explore his many personal artistic pursuits and passions", but if you've ever seen any of his Vines or YouTube videos you can probably guess it'll mainly be him aimlessly staring into the camera while half-asleep.
AND THIS WEEK IN THE WORLD OF YOUR NIGHTMARES...
Timur Bekmambetov, as in the director of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, is making a movie about killer squirrels. It already has a promo trailer. I legitimately can't decide whether this is the best or worst thing ever.
Main image via